It's About Time for an Update!

He was maybe seven or eight years old… this tiny, frail little boy. He stood outside the auto as his father negotiated with the driver where to go. His big, dark brown eyes gazed into mine. He never looked away. As he was trying to get into the auto I picked him up and unlike every other child he did not squirm, scream, panic or fight me. He let me pick him up and place him by my side. He seemed comfortable with me. He placed his little hand on my knee and leaned his head on me. From first glance you could tell that he and his father both had HIV/AIDS. It was written all over their appearance. For the next 20 minutes as we drove into the village he rested on me and I felt peace.
It’s little stories like these that kindle my heart for the people of India. My heart breaks at times too, like one evening I watched three street children roam around bare foot on broken glass searching through the trash. I wanted to know what had brought them to this place of abandonment. I wanted to help them and restore them.
I’ve been here in India for about two months now. It doesn’t seem long, but when I look back on the things I have done, I am amazed. I am not on outreach here. I am living and working with Youth With A Mission as a missionary. My ministry is not physically touching people or feeding the sick or evangelism everyday, but it is office work.
“How can office work be ministry?” you might be asking yourself. In many ways! I am freeing up a lot of people to be the hands and feet of Jesus. So far I have created a brochure and promotional video for YWAM-Hyderabad’s upcoming Urban Discipleship Training School. I have also assited the school leader in going and speaking to youth groups and churches about the upcoming school. I have created the base newsletter and am creating a YWAM-Hyderabad report. As we are closing the year, we are looking forward to starting a monthly staff enrichment program in January and sending some of the City Office staff out for an outreach. I am excited to be apart of these things here.
In a week the base will be released for Christmas break and I will travel up to Darjeerling to visit my friend, Amy. I will spend a little over two weeks there. I am looking forward to spending my first Christmas away from home with my best friend! Please pray for my journey. I leave Hyderabad on December 15 and arrive back January 1.
I Pray you all are doing well and enjoying this holiday season. Peace to you and your family!

Making my dad proud!

I don't think there is anything wrong in finding things in a foreign place that soothe you and make you feel at home. I have already lost a lot of weight and have been starving for some American food. So... while I was out the other day I found some things that reminded me of home- this is what I made-

Macaroni and Cheese with the coveted Heinze ketchup!

I make my dad proud!

I also made a ice cold glass of chocolate milk:) Now this wasn't your ordinary, pour the milk and stir in the chocolate, no ma'am. I had to boil the milk, skim the top layer, chill it in the freezer, add the chocolate and then shake... it took about an hour, but it was worth the wait:)

Things I love about India

I've been here in India for a month now and have begun to love some random, different things. Here is a list, in no particular order, of things that make me smile and that I love-

1. The after-the-train-head-on-rampage. Once the train passes its a head on race to the other side. It looks impossible to navigate ourselves through, but somehow we always make it through alive:)

2. People freezing in 70's weather. When the sun goes down, or doesn't peak through the clouds, the coats and ear muffs come out.

3. Chai time! There is never a bad time for chai!

4. The rooftops! I think all houses everywhere should have a roof top to retreat to. It's a great place to watch the sun rise and set over Hyderabad. Great quiet time place too:)

5. The way the Indians say the "le" or "el" sound. For example, "shovel" and "little". Oh I just love it!

6. Terms of endearment. Whether its Akka, Anna, Bhiyya, or Auntie I love how we call everyone something sweet.

7. Curd! It doesn't matter how spicy the food just pour some curd on it and it's fabulous!

Well, I hope to post some pictures soon! Love you all!

Some Pictures:)

Here are some random photos from my time here so far...

My Desk:)

My hot shower, haha!

Not only does she cook and clean... but she checks us for lice too:)

Look what made its way into my dosa masala!

Curd makes it possible to eat everything!

Song no. 1

Yesterday was a crazy day... emotionally. We went to the Charminar to pray and see the places that Human Trafficking is the worse here. My heart broke and stayed broken for some time. In the evening, after a meal with the base staff and fun watching tv and reading funny books to the children, I made my way up to my apartment. I was stopped, just like every time I come to my stairwell, by the group of children who live here. I was greeted with smiles and hugs. Oh, how I love their hugs:) After watching them perform some songs and dances for us, a little boy named Johnathan tugged on my pants and bashfully told me he wrote a song. We asked him if he'd like to sing it. Amy and I sat on the steps in awe as this little 7 year old belted out a beautiful song to Jesus. My heart melted and tears were in my eyes. Johnathan truly knows how to praise God... his words were beautiful and spoke truth. I see a little "David" in the making... his song was entitled, "Song No. 1".

**********

On a personal note.. I am doing better, PRAISE JESUS! Every day I have to give God my time here and trust that this will become home in due time. Great things are to come here in YWAM- Hyderabad. I am here until these things birth. I am excited to be apart of this new time!!! woot!

Learning to Lean

If you could see my spiritual stature it would be a leaning one. I have been here in India for a week now and the biggest thing God has been teaching me... far bigger than how to adjust to the heat or food, much greater than understanding the culture... is how to lean on Him. I found right off that I can not do this alone. These two years will seem like ten if I do not learn to lean on Him. If I try to make this time here great by my might, I will fail. All I can do is surrender and let Jesus lead me on.

It's been a little rough, I must say. If you would have asked me if for saw these emotions coming... I would've looked at you strangely and laughed. I have never felt this way before.. ever! I did not know how much I took for granted having all my close friends near to me or the amazing YWAM family I had in Charlotte, NC. But growth doesn't come without pain... and this is my time to grow. I think that once I am done here in Hyderabad I will be a jewel! I will be refined and ready for the next step in my life. My prayer is that this time here is not wished away, but well spent and monumental in my life!

I love you, family and friends of mine! I'll upload pictures soon!

Boom Boom Pow!

Last night was a Hindu festival called "Diwali"... the equivalent to Christian's Christmas. Man did they celebrate... fire crackers, fire works and the oh, so lovely, cherry bombs rang aloud all night long... and I mean it.. ALL NIGHT LONG. We sat on our roof as the Hindu's worshiped their false gods and prayed. Tears filled my eyes and sorrow in my heart. Oh, that they would be able to see! That their eyes would be unveiled!

A delicious chicken curry dinner from outside made for a not-so happy tummy today. It was spicy and good, but not home cooked. I think I will stick with eating food only made here at the base for now.

Tomorrow I start out working in the office and learning the processes of how things are done. I will also join my first Mercy Ministry tomorrow evening. Tonight we want to get together to pray for the trafficked women and children here in Hyderabad. I think God is going to do something big here. Actually, I know!

Please pray for me... transition is still a bit rough, both emotionally and physically. Pray for a quick acclimation! Love you all!

Life in India

Im sitting in the living room of the apartment I'm staying in. A beautiful breeze from outside is wisping my hair and I smell the various scents of delicious Indian breakfasts being made. The children downstairs are laughing and playing. I feel at home:)

I arrived safely to Hyderabad early Thursday morning. The plane ride was fabulous! I give Air India two thumbs up! Jet lag greeted us with open arms and still hasn't fully let go. Two of my Indian friends met us at the airport with garlands to welcome Amy and I. It is good to be here; my new home.

My heart for this city has grown enormously. I cannot wait to fall into life here. I am expecting great things! I am expecting to see healings... people freed... my life transformed... big things!

Enjoy these pictures! I love you all and will update you soon:)

Saying Goodbye to my family

Passports to the Nations!

I am happy I made it.. just a little jet-lagged

Amy and Julia

Free from junk; free to move about the world!

The other day I literally packed up everything. I wanted to see what kind of space I was looking at. Safe! I actually have a lot of extra room. Now the weight.. ehh... I don't know about that one;) As I was packing up I realized I was packing up my entire life. All my belongings, minus a few keep-sakes I'm sending home with my parents, are all packed up in two suitcases. Just a little over two months ago I started on my downgrading journey. At the end I completely gave away my entire wardrobe, a big bin of half used toiletries, a garbage bag of shoes, and filled the trashcan with meaningless things I've kept around for the years. Wow. I'm not looking to get a round of kudo's from ya'll but this is monumental for me. I cried the first two trips to the Salvation Army.... I'm not even gonna lie. It was difficult for me to hand over my belonging and get back in the car and drive away. It quite fun, I have to say, to see the girls here at the YWAM base sporting my previously owned clothes.

So here's to a fresh start! Free from junk and free to move about the world where God is calling me!

having fun with the little ones!

Im loving spending my last few days with my little friends here at the YWAM base. Here are some photo's of them:)

Ahhh, and Relax!

I went with my sister to get a pedicure... who ever knew that you get pampered so much? I wouldn't know seeings as my last pedicure was in January of 2007 in India! The little, petite Vietnamese lady hacked and filed and buffed and hacked some more at my precious feet. They look wonderful:) I chose a classy hot pink and she did my nails to match. I hope they stay looking pretty for a while, because I know once I move to India they will start looking scraggly. Thanks Traci and dad for great pampering:)

Butterflies!

Yesterday I had an intense case of the butterflies! I was so tired but every time I tried to lay down I was awoken from their flutters. Three weeks from today I will be in a jet-lagged stupor smelling the Indian air and enjoying a delicious cup of Vijaya's chai. Oh no, the butterflies are back.
I keep imagining what it's going to feel like when I say my final good bye in the Charlotte airport or when Amy and I take off together from New York straight to Hyderabad. It's not a new chapter in life... but a whole new book! I can foresee many tears and urges to break out in a dance and song from this bitter sweet time. I can't wait!

PS- Tomorrow I am breaking down and getting a pedicure. These dogs have been neglected for far too long... I pity the person who has to work on these lovely feet... she might get a bigger tip;)

And so the journey begins...

The official countdown has started, 32 days until I take the daring, faithful step to move to India. Yesterday I bought my ticket and my view on moving to India changed. It's for-real now. It's no longer that dream fairy-tale in my head that I yearned for, for years! So here's to a new chapter in life... a new discipline to start blogging again... and memories to be made. See you on the journey!

What a week!

Stress. Emotions. Unfortunate events. A canker sore. An upset stomach. This was my week. Not too fabulous, eh? Well... amongst these things that I did not enjoy there was a lot of excitement with the unfolding plans of my move to India. I got flight quotes, which are better than I thought and have began to make plans to possibly visit the Taj Mahal with my friend, Amy on our way to India. Yes, you heard me correctly... on OUR way to India! Amy, as of right now, is going to join me and help me move in at the YWAM- Hyderabad base. I could not think of a more better person I would want with me during this time:)

I am getting butterflies every time I think and begin to make plans about moving. I feel so much peace. I can't explain it. There are fifty million things going on around me, but somehow peace just flows over me about moving to India. Ahhh... a relief. I remember back to the last time I made a big move. It was when I came back to YWAM in 2005. That summer was difficult and I didn't know if I'd make it, but it was that same peace as I have now that stabled me and got me through it. Thank you, Jesus, for peace!!

You leave my girl alone!

Today was a sweet day for me and Jackson. Jackson is our base directors son who has autism. I work with him about 5-6 days a week. We do a lot of cooking and hanging out. I've found myself learning so much about who he is as an individual. He has really enveloped himself in my heart forever. He's my little sweetums! Today was one of the sweetest days we've had together. Let me tell you about it-

We were lounging in the living room at the YWAM base. I let him have some veg-out time where he likes to bury himself in the sofa. I get lots of giggles from him when I let him do this. I was letting him have this time this afternoon, but instead of burying himself he just laid his head on my chest. I felt his spirit so calm and relaxed. At one point I moved to another couch to talk to a friend, Michael. We were looking at pictures on his camera and laughing. Jacks did not like this one bit. He began to groan as he sat up on the couch. He nodded towards me and Michael all the while still groaning. I went over to him to have him show me what he wanted. He just stared Michael up and down. Michael then left the room and Jacks starred at him the whole way. He then stood up, took my hand and led me to the kitchen. It was like he was telling Michael, "You leave my girl alone!"

In the kitchen I had some country music playing on the radio. I held both of Jacksy's hands and began to sway like we were dancing. He smiled BIG! I then showed him how to move his feet, but he wasn't having none of that. But... a few moments later as we were cutting water melon, he grabbed my two hands, began to sway and rock his feet. Jacks and I danced today for the first time! It was dear to me. That kid will always, no matter how bad of a day we have, he will always have my heart!

The master chef cutting up water melon!

Oh a pull at the heart strings!

So I looked through all my pictures from India the other day. There was a lot of laughing at silly pics of us dancing and trying new things, cringing at the pics of us drentched in sweat, and tears of just missing the faces and ministries we worked with. I miss it so much. If there had been any hesitation to move back it is all gone. I just can't wait to get there and start life in this amazing country. I do want to share with you something quite hilarious. While in Hyderabad we found a lot of fun things to do. One of these things was riding a mechanical bull. I look at these pictures and just keel over in laughter. So for your veiwing pleasure and the possible embarassment of my friends and I, I present to you....

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=70581&id=503126864&l=8927422626

Ready for Momentum!

All the single staff are gone this week, except for me. It's quite lonesome during the day. My friend Megan has taken me in for the week and I am so very thankful for that! I have a lot of quiet time on my hands. So while cleaning or while I'm in the office I have lots of time to think. It makes me yearn for momentum in my life. I want it to pick up. Well, my life is really busy right now, but I'd like the momentum to pick up in the areas of my life that are stale. I want to see things happen, change... come. So that's my prayer right now. I want momentum in my spiritual life, in my preparation for my next step in missions and life in general. Once I get that pendulum swinging, there will be no stopping it! Let's go!

Here I am!

My hiatus from the blogger world has come to en end! I've been super busy these past few weeks... and that's no lie. Allow me to catch you up on life. As of last month I am currently the employee of three organizations/company's. My first, and most important of course, is YWAM. I am still living and working with my YWAM-Charlotte family. I actually run the kitchen for the singles and the occasional birthday get-togethers. Cooking is one of the many things I learned at YWAM... oh, growing up:) I also have the fabulous job of being an associate at Bath and Body Works in our local Small (short for small mall). Talking to people about fragrances and being smiley and cheery... yeah, I like it. I do have to say, however, I have become the biggest sweet talker, though. There are some scents we have that just smell like pure moth balls. But when a customer is just beaming over her selection, I have to so joyfully exclaim, "What a great choice! Doesn't it just smell lovely?" as I am suffocating from it's overwhelming stench. All in all I really love the job working at Bath and Body Works. Lastly, I also am employed at a place called the ARC of Union County. I work with Jackson, my base directors 17 year old son. Jackson has autism and I have the privilege to take him out for some fun and recreation. The other day he and I put together a grill my brother sent to me. We then made and grilled some amazing bacon, cheddar burgers! He and I can whip up some great treats in the kitchen. You may be asking why I am working. Good question. I am only working for the summer to save money to pay off a credit card I have and to save money for my upcoming move to India.

I have a big change coming up and I'm trying to prepare myself the best I can. I just don't kow if I'm doing it well enough. Agh.

I think I've already written you a novel. I need to save some for the newsletter coming out soon! Now it's time to put myself to bed and get rest for another busy day in the life of me:)

New, New, New!!

So I did it again. I changed the theme of the blog. The other one was sweet but it had it's limitations. So welcome to the new and improved blog! The fun things that were on the previous one, like the picture links, will be back up soon. I hope you enjoy!

I do want to bring your attention to the right sidebar on my page. I have set up a way for you to get involved financially in my mission work. I am gearing up, saving up and raising support up for my move to India. Would you pray and consider joining me in this journey? Do note that any donations made via my blog do not get a tax deductible receipt. If you'd like a receipt for your donation you can make a check out to YWAM and mail them to- 418 E. Franklin St. Monroe, NC 28112. Every little penny helps me out greatly! If you want to know more on what I am currently up to or what I will be doing... let me know. I'd love to talk to you!

I hope you have a great Memorial weekend! Talk to you soon! Peace:)

Kristina's totally awesome day!

Today turned out to be a GREAT day! Monday's usually drag out and become a bit hectic... but today has just had so many happy moments and I want to share...

1. I got a printer that prints color! This means I can finally send out my India newsletter. I didn't have the finances to print the beautiful creation I had made about a month ago.

2. I have an interview at Bath and Body works. If all goes well our YWAM base will be the most fragrant YWAM base around!

3. I'm getting to spend some good friend time with Hovde as it is just her and I this week. Everyone else is in PA.

4. The baby birds have hatched.. take a look-

And tonight Anthony and Michaela are coming out for dinner! I might be just a little too perky today... but hey, it's a great day! I hope your day has turned out to be as amazing or even better!

Peace!

I don't want to Tolerate!

"...But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common; it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon and night. Well not any more, I am setting the example."

Though this excerpt comes from the twisted serial killer movie, Seven, it stuck with me. So much so, that the next day I had to fast forward through the movie until I found it. 

The word tolerate in itself shouldn't be something we do. Especially if it has to do with our relationships. Now I know I am not innocent of this. If I said I was, I would for sure be the kettle calling the pot black. Why do we tolerate sin? Why do we sit by and let others suffer. I have been guilty many times of rolling my eyes and thanking the Lord that's not me. Why? I just tolerated sin. And when we tolerate, we show sin is OK. It's NOT! We weren't created to watch others spiritually and emotionally die. 

Last summer in New Orleans I was driving by myself back to our house. As I sat at a light, my eye caught a man walking down the street. Right then, he fell face first onto the pavement. A woman walking nearby picked up her dog and ran from him. He was in need of help. I had to make a quick choice in my head... pull over and help this stranger, or keep driving. I hesitated and pulled over a little ways down the street. With 9-1-1 yelling at me to calm down, I sprinted to the man, who at this point was laying in a pool of blood choking on it. He couldn't breathe. Shaking from all the Adrenalin, I and another man rolled the victim onto his side where he was able to gasp for a much needed breath. He obviously was seizing. I held onto him tightly as the other man held his head. I prayed and prayed that he would be OK. 

What if I hadn't stopped? What if no one stopped? Would he have died?That is a horrible risk to take. It's funny how a man bleeding to death on a busy sidewalk is more shocking than a best friend who throws their life away because of a bad decision we allowed them to make. Let's not tolerate. Please stand with me and stop letting our friends spiritually and emotionally die. It's all around us. Let's set the example and be little Christ's! After all isn't it far much better to save a life than save a friendship? 

Im Springing up Joy!

Living in North Carolina I get to see the seasons change very distinctly. The leaves changing color in the fall which lead to their shedding in the winter which leads to the very beautiful spring time of new colors and life! Spring has its ups and downs, though. I'll start with the downs, since I am currently suffering from this seasons actions. My front porch has a putrid yellow icing to it that makes my nose want to jump into my sinus cavity. The dogwood, a very captivating tree, triggers the most annoying post-nasal drip. And what I look forward to every spring... (insert sarcastic tone) is the two week funk where my sinus', nose, throat, and lungs get attacked by a monstrous thick, green infection. It's bliss. haha.

But the up side to spring is much bigger and overrides the negative aspects. I love to see the trees grow new, vibrant green leaves, the flowers arise from what I assumed was the end of their lives into colorful blossoms, and the best thing... the birds. Yes, the birds. I feel like a child as I peer into different nests each day to see the progress of the babies. We have this one nest that is right eye level with me in a small bush outside our house. I watched these little ones emerge from eggs and into small birds ready for flight. I know they are about to leave the nest and I was a bit depressed by the thought of not being able to see them every day. But right in the next bush is a new nest with new eggs! Listen, I may sound like a child here, but I never really experienced this growing up. New life is such a miracle! Well, I will leave you with some pictures of the birds as go to blow my nose and get ready for some spring cleaning! Love you all!

 

The new nest!

  

The two babies, one head and one butt.

 

He looks very angry this morning.

Our Work in Action!

While I was in India earlier this year, the team and I created a children's room at an HIV/AIDS clinic. We felt God give us specific details on how the room should look. So with a small budget, some donated toys and blankets from home and brilliant imaginations... we created a sanctuary for children affected by this disease. You may have already seen the pictures. If not, there is a link to the before, during and after pictures on the right side bar entitled, "The Nireekshana Project".

Today, I received a great email! One that made me smile. It was an email containing pictures of the children's room in action! The room is right now being used! Here are the pictures for you to enjoy too! Because of your financial support and mighty prayers you too were able to be apart of this project! Thank you:)

 

 

He is Risen!

This weekend was fabulous! We had an Easter celebration with our Front Porch kids. We saw four of them accept Christ as their savior! Welcome Andre, Patrick, Dante and Jaquera!!! Easter was well spent with friends and lots of delicious food. Church blew my mind and I feel rejuvinated. The pastor knows how to tell a salvation message and convict "christians" of how they are living. He had me trembling in the fear of the Lord. What a beautiful weekend! I hope you all had a great one too. Check out the pics...

Children Preforming song and dance for us.

Chris praying with Matthew

Lunch!

Praying with the kids

Minhee leading children in song and dance

Enjoying a beautiful day, friends and food!

My first Easter Ham!!

Me and Kristen on Easter

Rockin my world...

Elevation Church, where I am currently attending church, has been rocking my world with the sermons. I felt Holy Spirit during the worship two weeks ago during this song. It has rocked my world....

When the waters rise

My hope is sure

When my world falls apart

I stand secure

When my way is dark

Your light breaks through

When i don’t feel you near

Your word is true

Jesus your love surrounds me

You’re holding my life

Holding my life

Chorus: 

The Lord is my rock

And I won’t be afraid

I wont be afraid

You’re with me

Verse 2:

When the waters rise

My hope is sure

When my world falls apart

I stand secure

Bridge: 

Oh God you carry us

You rise above

You lift us up

Help!

This is a special blog for a special person... Lynn Sea! How can I get a hold of you??

Almost to the End

Endings. There's something so bitter sweet about them. I like endings such as the end of a fast, the end to a really boring meeting where I wanted to gouge out my eyes, or the end of a car ride where I was prepping myself for instant death. Then there are the ends I do not particularly like, such as the end of an amazing television series, the end of a seriously delicious bowl of chocolate moose tracks, and the one I am facing now.. the end to my time at YWAM-Charlotte. The thing is, that as my book is coming to an end here, life still goes on! *screeching tires *gasp!

It's a time where I can choose to get this mindset that I am not welcome and/or accepted. Or I can embrace the changes going on here. I've been apart of this mission for 5 years. My finger print is all over this base. As I am finishing this last six months well, I see a lot of new faces, new visions, new relationships, and new beginnings all over. It's tempting to not want to be apart of it. Moving on is hard. It takes a toll on your emotions and challenges you to really hold tight to the voice of God. So here's to the last six months (for now) with a family I love so much.

The link

Here's the link to the fabulous sermon I want you all to hear...

http://www.elevationchurch.org/

Putting the pieces to the puzzle

If you are a faithful follower to my blog you will remember a little back the blog, "Don't Spit Me Out." The blog talks about the the scripture in Revelations where God says that lukewarm Christians make him sick and He will spit us out. I told a story about a lukewarm shower I had taken and it all came into perspective. Last night I went to church, and my life was shaken. The preacher spoke on being lukewarm. He said that there is an epidemic with Christians these days... it's "Practical Atheism." Wow. I am a full time missionary/ part time follower of Jesus at times. Wow. I want to either be hot or cold... no in between. Here's a link to the sermon. If you have some time to spare, sit and listen to this and let God wreck you. It's good.

On another note, I am having some heart issues. Nothing medical, just emotional hurt. Please pray that I can see God's direction in this time and not run away. I need a change... quickly.

Growing Pains

Ouch. I remember losing sleep as a pre-teen from aching legs. I was growing. At the age of 25 I am currently not physically growing; maybe wider, but not taller (hehe). But I am growing spiritually. I think I've hit a major growth spurt just recently... and it hurts. It's hurts so bad at times that I just want to run away. Where would I run, though, where there is no pain? I have to say that at this very moment I am OK. In twentie minutes from now I might feel a different way. But right now I know I will be OK. I will let this growth take place, hurt a little in the process and be OK in the end. I'm excited to see what's at the other side of this. I am ready for restoration of the pieces I've fallen into. 

Peace:)

I've figured it out...

The reason why there are so many immature adults... Because growing and changing hurts and takes a lot of effort. That vision I wrote about the other day; it's becoming reality.

Out with the old, In with the need!

To my amazement I have found that I have a slue of clothes and "things" that I never use! I took all my belongings today and put them in one large empty room... the sight is astonishing. I have a tall wall of clothes that stretch across the room and an endless pile of "things" behind it. I put some of my money to good use and bought some plastic storage bins. They're having a sale at Wal-Mart... $8.00 and I got 3 bins!! Whoot! Well, I must get back to the sorting of my belongings. This is yet another step in down-sizing for my upcoming move.. yay!

On another chapter of this journey I am on a search for a job. Today, all dressed up in a nice black dress, I hit the streets of downtown Monroe. No one is hiring. I figured. But, Family Video is! I have my application and will promptly turn it in tomorrow and pray for the job. This job will help pay my credit card debt and free me from the financial suffocation. I'll keep you posted!

Kristina Likes

I absolutely LOVE this commercial. I sometimes find myself singing it to myself. Check it out...

I have to admit...

Ugh... So for the first time on the web I am writing about my search for a second job. To be completely honest, this is not something I want to do, nor am I out in the backyard doing cartwheels for. I just know that my life is about to take a turn when I move to India to work with YWAM. I need to get many ducks in a row before I take this step. One of those ducks; the plump, large, stubborn duck, is my credit card debt. I have never wrote about this before, so I'm a bit nervous. I owe a small amount on a tiny piece of plastic. I will find myself a job to pay off this debt. My hopes are that I only have to work for a couple of months. While the base will be operating like normal, my friends will be doing what I want to be doing while I am working on the side. These next couple of months are gonna be hard, emotional, and a fight... but I will keep my eyes on the end prize!
I'll keep ya'll updated on the search. Pray for me. Pray that I can find the perfect job and get this debt off me. Peace!

A Vision of Fire, Rain and a New Beginning

I had this vision the other day-

I'm afraid. I'm standing in the middle of an intense ring of fire that is trying to eat me. My rosy cheeks feel burned and the smoke is making it hard to breathe. Front, back, right left... the flames are everywhere. I panic. Where's my escape? How will I ever survive? Then I remember to look up; up to Him. I do and my eyes lock intimately with His and I'm at peace. The flames are still lurking and hurling its heat onto my body, but I'm peaceful. I hear Him say, "Do not lose sight of me."

I continue to gaze upwards as the billowing smoke rises up around me. I do not lose my focus. Will this fire ever stop?

Then the rain comes. And it's not your, "Lets go jump, skip and hop in puddles- dance in the rain," type of rain. This rain is pounding. It's the type you run from. It's flash flood rain. But I stay. I stay and get pelted with the heavy droplets driving 100 mph into my face. Immediately I am soaked, cold and wondering why I didn't run when it started coming down. This is my chance. I can run, find somewhere else to escape this pain. But that would be hiding and isn't hiding such a lonely thing to do? I decide to stay because He said, "Do not lose sight of me." If I ran and hid I'd have to take my eyes off Him. I stare into Him more intensely through my distorted vision. The sound of the storm around me makes it hard to hear His voice. It's faint. I can't make out what's being said. But I stay in His gaze.

The rain finally subsides. I almost got lost in my self pity and missed the sizzling ring of drenched ashes around me. The fire- it's gone. The rain- it stopped. Him... where is He? He's not up! Where is He? I look, search, panic, and there... behind me, on that beautiful path, there He is. He's holding out a hand and waiting for me to walk with Him into my destiny... will I follow?

********



I can't begin to explain the groan in my spirit right now. Agh. How many of us, myself included, can't even make it past the rings of fire in our lives? Oh, how many times I have flipped a lid because of the fire... countless times. And then when I make it through the anxiety of the incoming flames and find His gaze, the rain comes and I flee. I run like a child runs from a stranger. Why? Why do I sprint for the first "shelter" that never ends up being a real shelter and I'm stuck in the rain anyways? I haven't seen this until now. I'm right now in a ring of fire. The rain is starting and I am faced with the option to stay, like He has instructed, or to run like I have my whole life. I already know what's at the end. It's my beautiful destiny.

Stay, Kristina! Stay! There's no more time for a half-way-there relationship with the One who has your destiny in His hands. The rain is just beginning and I'm here, staying in His gaze saying, "Bring it on, I'm ready to walk into my forever."

One more...

Let me add to that previous list...

15. People wearing literally WHATEVER to the store. Today on my way to the beach I stopped at Wal-Mart to get some things for my outing. I felt very awkward and naked in my shorts and tank top... I mean c'mon it's Wal-Mart, but I still felt trashy. Well later on today my sister and I were at Target and when exiting the store a girl, late teens/early twenties, walked out the store slurping her slushy with her booty hanging out. She was wearing what I assume was a bathing suit underneath a very short and skimpy pull over. There she was frolicking through the parking lot for the whole world to see her bum. That's not normal, but wearing a bathing suit AND a MODEST cover up to the store is completely acceptable.

I feel a good blog coming on soon... It's building up inside me... just wait.

Things are different

Since I've been home in Florida I have seem to forgotten how different Florida is from North Carolina... So I have made a list-

1. No one has a twang here. If you do have one you are considered foriegn!
2. They drive faster. "I'm not speeding I'm just going with the flow of traffic," my mom always says.
3. All the old people. Go to Publix before school gets out and it's like the convalescent home is on a field trip. Heck our street has more senior citizens than young people on it.
4. They dress different. Doesn't matter what time of year, you will always find people wearing floral print or bright color clothing and those ugly floppy hats with a fish hook in it.
5. Publix, Bealls, Burdines...
6. The asphalt is a different color. I think its because there is shell in it and then maybe the sun bleaches it?
7. There's no parking on the side of the road.. this is for the city I live in.
8. Students can skip a half day of school and go to the beach.
9. Hibiscus Plants.
10. Everything is still green and it's early March!
11. The houses are made of stucco or concrete.
12. Bathing suits are being sold.
13. There's no orange clay on the side of the roads... Only whitish gray dirt.
14. Its SO FLAT!
15. There's more of a diverse mix of Latinos other than Mexicans.

I Love the difference, but I miss my home in NC. Oh, Florida!

Stuck in Cement

Every time I come home to Deltona to visit home I get in this, "I don't want to do anything," mood. I feel like sitting on my parents couch is a cement trap. I need to get out and see my friends and family, but all I want to do is nothing. How boring. Today my dad and I are gonna go out to see the movie, Slumdog Millionaire. It's a great movie. We went to see it in India. I want my dad to see it so he can see a little part of India. Hopefully he won't get scared about me moving there. Tonight the family and I are going out to the beach to watch the shuttle take off. I'll take pictures and post them. Watching the shuttles and missiles is something I have loved ever since I was a kid. My dad would come and wake me up, if I was asleep, to watch them. It's really beautiful!

On a whole completely different note- My friend Amy is leaving this morning for Israel! I am so excited for her! Check out her blog... www.tribespahr.blogspot.com. She is on an incredible adventure.

Well, until the next post... Peace out!

This is my now

A friend of mine, Katie, just posted a blog about a Jordin Sparks song that spoke to her directly. That made me think of another Jordin Sparks song that has very recently summed up my life. It's called, "This is my now"

There was a time I packed my dreams away.
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.

There was a time when I was so afraid.
I thought I'd reached the end,
But baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I have to decide,
Was I gonna play it safe.
Or look somewhere deep in side,
Try to turn the tide,
And find the strength to take that step of faith.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah.
I've settled for less now I'm ready for more,
Ready for more.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I'm living in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.
This is my now.

I feel so complacent "resting" here at home. I'm ready for the next big thing! I'm ready to take the first step into my destiny. I want to keep the forward motion going strong.

India Slides

Newer Slideshow... enjoy!

Crash Landing

Numb. That is what I felt inside yesterday. I hugged and kissed my friends good-bye, got into a car with my parents and knocked out. The past six months haven't yet sunk in yet. I think I need to catch up on some sleep and then it will all hit me. I am full of so many emotions that my brain has no clue how to process them... I'm numb.

 

Just a thought

So I thought of this last night as my friend, Lauren, and I watched a tv show. There were two people; a man and woman. They were in love with each other. The man got down on one knee and with a twinkle in his eye, he proposed to the woman and the love-drunk couple hugged, kissed, and stared into each others eyes. Now pause that scene. If that were me... where would Jesus be in that situation? This is literally what I thought as I saw the couple envelope in their love. I understood that verse in Matthew where Jesus says that if possible it is good for a man not to marry. We are asked to live lives that are centered around Jesus. As a single it's tough at times, I can't imagine what it's like married. What does it mean to have Jesus at the center of your relationship? I am not saying by any means that I do not want to get married. I can't wait for the day that I meet someone who I will share the rest of my life with. It excites me! I just am curious about making Jesus the center of it. Any comments will be well received.

I can't and won't settle for mediocre

I went to church today. It was bland. Like stale bread in my mouth when I was expecting something warm and fluffy. The message was good, the pastor was good, the worship was OK, but it didn't hit the spot. I kept hearing in my head, my friend Amy say, "That what you experienced in India was normal! What you experience here is not!". 

I long for the radical-christian life. The one that is constantly reliant on the Holy Spirit. Where people are lined up after church to be prayed for to see healing in their lives. I no longer want to be wrapped up in my stuff. I came home this time and was in tears, literal tears, because of my personal wardrobe. I had two dressers, one closet and bins full of clothes. Way too much than I really need. I see a downsizing coming forth very soon. Agh, this outreach ruined me bad. I like it though. I like being radical... not mediocre.

India Slides

Taking a step into my Destiny

It's been over a week and my heart still feels wrecked. I have been to many countries and never before have I came back feeling like this. This was my third time to India and I left with the thought, "I can't imagine never coming back to this country." It's been 6 years since God let me in on some clues to my future. It was a vision of me leaving everything behind for a life committed to serving the Indian people. I'm finally walking into a part of my destiny. I am praying and processing with my leaders here at YWAM-Charlotte about my move to YWAM-Hyderabad in September. 

I heard this quote from Mother Teresa, "The hunger for love is much harder to remove than the hunger for bread." And that's just what I want to do. I want to show how women can quench their desire for an undying love. I have worked with many widows and women who are desperately searching for a love that lasts. I want them to experience this love that Jesus has poured on me.

Please be praying for me in this time. There are several things that I need to wrap up and bring an end. I want to keep this forward motion... this momentum into my destiny.

The India update is in the works. So here are some pics to enjoy until I get it up here..

 

Lauren, me and Elby hiding behind our sari's 

 

Sunset over Hyderabad

 

Kids we worked with in the slum

  

                             Eating                She called me, "Foriegn Auntie"

 

Precious children

 

Tribal Children

Don't spit me out

I should be writing you all an exciting update about my time in India. Please know that I am in the midst of conjuring up a good blog for that. It is hard for me to try to compact all my thoughts from two powerful months into one short piece. I did, today, look through an array of pictures from the trip and my heart was overcomed with sadness. I promise I’ll get something up soon.

Onto today. I woke up at an early 6:30am. I had a pretty mediocre quiet time; it definitely could have been deeper. I then had a shower. Now, I am staying at a nice retreat center for a conference this week. The rooms are hotel-like. One would think that they would have endless hot water. But I guess this one was wrong. It’s a bit chilly here so the anticipation of having a hot shower was exciting. The shower came on. Ugh. That’s cold. I turn the cold water down a little. Still cold. I turn the cold water completely off. Lukewarm. Blah. It felt weird. I wanted to get out, but my greasy locks were screaming for some attention. My body shivered, but not like it did when I took those ice cold showers in Bangalore. It just quivered a little. Lukewarm equals gross. It was then that I understood the scripture in Revelations where it says-

 ⁵I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!¹⁶So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.¹⁷You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.

Why would I want to be like that? Why would I want to be half there? It’s like coffee- its great hot, its great cold, but when it’s at that stage of in-between, it’s disgusting. At the end of my life, whenever that may be, I want God to look at me and say I was either hot or cold… not lukewarm.

In the hospital with Kristen

So the outreach is about over and our team is battleing with some stomach issues. Kristen, one of our students, was admitted to the hospital. She and I spent a nice 43 hours in a little hospital room. This is an entry from my journal on the first day….

 

Indian hospitals are extremely different from American hospitals. I say this as two cockroaches race across the white marble floor. My sweet Kristen is attempting to read her book with her IV still in her arm. I’m sweating and feeling a bit psycho from being confined to our hospital cell; and that’s what it feels like… a cell. Our friends came to visit, bringing us great treats. We now have a smorgasbord of rice, daal, gobi, bread, jam and an array or beverages like orange juice, apple juice, Gatorade and chilled water. All of this and  I’m not craving a single item. I have this vision of a Taco Bell burrito ple-aing through my mind. I can almost taste the ice cold sweet carbonation of a long desired fountain coca-cola on my tongue. Agh! I need to snap out of it. I think the cabin fever has gotten to my senses.

I asked the nurse if there was a TV we could watch… she just laughed, so I assume that was a no. All I wanted was to find out what the giant explosion we saw from our roof top tonight was. It was so big and so powerful that it shook our whole apartment complex. People were in a frenzy. I heard it was a chemical plant. I ventured out of our cell in attempts to find a news paper. I asked one nurse to we had been working with. She didn’t speak English so our communication was centered on a game of charades. I pretended to read a paper and threw out several paper names I knew of in Hyderabad. The nurse perked up and went into the office and came out with a paper in hand. Yes! I had successfully communicated with her! But much to my disappointment not only was the news paper a month old and ripped, it was also in the Telugu script. Hadn’t the past few hours of us not understanding each other tell her that I couldn’t speak a lick of Telugu let alone read the script? To my rescue came a sweet elderly man who had witnessed my unsuccessful attempt in getting what I wanted. He went out and bought me a paper. I was excited to actually have something to do. I’m not much of a news paper reader, but today I became a pro. I started off by reading the front page article about the giant explosion. No one was killed, praise Jesus, but two men were wounded. To my entertainment and to one of the wounded men’s embarrassment was a picture of this man laying with burns on a hospital bed in nothing but his blue underwear. Right on the front page for all the world to see. How embarrassing. I went on to read literally EVERY particle in the paper. Some stories were funny, others I had no clue what they were talking about. There was one article about 20 peacocks found dead and another that was a warning to young couples on Valentines Day to not be found displaying PDA or they will be forced to be married right on site (no lie… it’s true!). I found a soduko that I conquered in no time, too. After there was nothing else to read I had the brilliant idea to make Kristen a princess hat out of the paper. Krystal made a wand and we made Kristen the Princess of Shreyas Hospital. Three of our nurse friends came in and wanted in on the action. So we placed the crown of glory on each nurse and took endless pictures with Kristen. The doctor paged the nurses and then we were left bored, once again.

So as I conclude this journal entry… Kristen is acting loopy from all the drugs in her system and I am yearning for AC, a television and that delicious burrito that is still on my mind.

Journey to India (in a nutshell)

It seems like forever since I've updated you all! We've been up to so much... so here is an update in a nutshell...

My heart has been twisted in some many directions. I ache for the people here in India. My heart loves to be here. I feel home. Last week we traveled to Bangalore for 10 days. Our first ministry we worked with was called, "Home of Hope". Check out this video. This is about what we did while we were there- (note- It's extremely graphic)



We have been doing a lot of work in the slums. We go in and work with the children for the first part and then we make house visits to pray with families. It is such an experience to be able to go into these tiny shacks and talk with the people about there lives, intimately! At one slum, praise be to the LORD, we saw TWO HEALINGS!!!! Two girls were healed of partial deafness. We took them to their parents to test. It was a miracle! I was privileged to be apart of that moment.

On a personal note, I am doing better with my health. I am still dealing with some chest congestion and a bad cough. Please keep me in prayer for that. I am having a blast being here in India. I think the more I spend time here and get down and dirty the more I yearn to be here permanently. Maybe one day:)

Last night as I was going to sleep I thought of all my supporters and the people praying for me. I want you to know that I am very thankful for you and I think and pray about you often. I would not be able to be here doing Gods work without your sacrifice. Thank you!

India, oh India!

Coming to India I assumed my stomach would get a bit sick before I left. It’s almost impossible to get around that. My bland, American body meeting spicy Indian food is certainly always a collision my insides do not know how to handle. But, as I am lying here on a floor mat in our living room while the rest of the team is out doing ministry, I am fighting of a nasty respitory track infection and gastronitis. No, no, this isn’t just your normal cold I get quite often. It’s an Indian cold; a different strand my body has never encountered. Last night around midnight is when I decided this was no ordinary illness. I was awoken by sharp pains in my stomach, a high fever, and a stuffed nose. Feeling that, oh so familiar, pain in my lower stomach I knew it was game time. So I acted as a contortionist out of my mosquito net and bee-lined for our bedroom door. It was locked. Locked from the outside.
“What? Is this really happening?” I tried the door once again. Locked. I was stranded in my own misery. I began to get anxious as the pain intensified. I banged on the door, I pounded on the thick cement walls, and I vigorously shook the door. No one was coming to my rescue. Heck, the three girls in my room hadn’t budged a bit in my frenzy. The sweat started to pour.
“What am I going to do? What am I going to do?!” I had no other options. I was stuck. I decided to get back up and woke up my friend Berkeley saying,
“Berkeley! We are locked inside this room and I need to get out! Please help me!” I think she heard the desperation in my voice because she flew straight up in her bed. I went to the door to show her our problem and with one hard shake of the door, it came unlocked. Just like that. I was rescued! Finally! Oh it was a glorious feeling in a time when I felt so ill.
I didn’t sleep much that night. The fever was keeping me from falling asleep. In the morning I declared to my Indian friend, Joseph, that it was time to go to the doctor.
The doctor was not nearly as eventful as my previous escape from my bedroom dungeon. It took about 30 minutes, 200 rupees ($4 US dollars) and a lot of translation, and I was done. The doctor didn’t even ask my name until the end of the exam. But all is well. A lady who lives across from us is a nurse and she accompanied me. She gave me the low-down on the prescriptions I have and what to do to get over this fast. She cringed when she found out we were taking cold showers. Hey now, I love the cold showers in this hot climate. Also she urged me to drink hot water, which she so lovingly boiled and is currently sitting next to me. So, I have, or should I say, I am experiencing something new here in India, and unlike everything else, I do not like this. I’m ready to get better.

I’m going to try to upload some pictures to my blog of the tribes we visited this week. We prayer walked, did a drama, told some testimonies and sang songs with the people. We then were able to pray for the tribal people. In one tribe I think we were able to pay for almost the entire tribe! Yay God! If you don’t see any pictures, its because the internet connection. I will try again soon. Peace!

I <3 India

Here is an entry from my journal....

***

As I sit here and write this, my heart is aching. It's early in the morning and I just can't sleep. It could possibly be blamed on jet-lag or possibly that I can't seem to shake these people from the HIV/AIDS clinic from my mind. Some travel for hours (and when I say hours, I mean like 7, 8, and even 9!). That is the distance between my parents home and the YWAM base in Monroe! some crawl up the stairs just to be seen, to feel human touch. some are widows, some children, some fathers accompanied by their grieving families, some are there for the first time and can't get through the exam without streams of sorrowful tears soaking their faces. All of them, though, are God's precious children... every one of them.

the state, Andra Pradesh, where we are currently working has the highest percentage of peoples living with the HIV/AIDS virus. I asked the doctor overseeing the clinic why this was and he didn't fully know. His conclusion was that it is due to the rich highways that pass through this state. Many truck drivers pass through these highways and see sex-workers. One out of every four sex-worker in Andra Pradesh is infected with the virus. These men then bring it back home to their wives. This is the main cause of transmission here. We have seen many cases of young girls, about my age- 25, who were married at a young age around 14 and received HIV/AIDS from their husbands. Most of their husbands have passed away and they are living now with children and a deadly disease. I've seen many widows. A hopelessness lurks over them. But when they come to the clinic the compassion showed there blows that cloud away and lets the light of hope shine all around them.

See, in the government hospitals, the doctors and nurses will not touch a HIV/AIDS patient. There is a big stigma here that people have engraved into their minds, that the transmission is easy. At the clinic we make it a point to touch each patient, pray with them and show them the truth that they are able to live a normal life. The people need to be taught that this disease is preventable. We have learned a skit to take to schools to teach on abstinence and the awareness of HIV/AIDS.

Please pray for our this clinic. Pray for the widows. Pray for the children. Please pray for the men. Please pray.

***

Since I wrote this we have begun to work with other ministries as well. I loved that we were able to start out our mission working with this clinic. I spent most my time shadowing a doctor and examining the patients. I saw many things I have never seen before... TB, external herpes, measles, oral thrush, and malaria. I've seen smiling, laughing children running in the halls who had no clue that their lives are going to be cut short. I've seen so much. My heart is breaking. But isn't this what I want? I do.

To India.. and BEYOND!

In just a few hours I will be boarding a flight. Destination- Hyderabad, India. I'm willingly leaving my chance for a snowy winter behind for the blazing hot land of India. The two places we will be working in are Hyderbad and Bangalore. (See map) 

My hope is to be able to weekly update my blo to keep you posted on our ministry, the team, and how God is radically moving. I can't wait! Peace to you all in this New Year!