The link

Here's the link to the fabulous sermon I want you all to hear...

http://www.elevationchurch.org/

Putting the pieces to the puzzle

If you are a faithful follower to my blog you will remember a little back the blog, "Don't Spit Me Out." The blog talks about the the scripture in Revelations where God says that lukewarm Christians make him sick and He will spit us out. I told a story about a lukewarm shower I had taken and it all came into perspective. Last night I went to church, and my life was shaken. The preacher spoke on being lukewarm. He said that there is an epidemic with Christians these days... it's "Practical Atheism." Wow. I am a full time missionary/ part time follower of Jesus at times. Wow. I want to either be hot or cold... no in between. Here's a link to the sermon. If you have some time to spare, sit and listen to this and let God wreck you. It's good.

On another note, I am having some heart issues. Nothing medical, just emotional hurt. Please pray that I can see God's direction in this time and not run away. I need a change... quickly.

Growing Pains

Ouch. I remember losing sleep as a pre-teen from aching legs. I was growing. At the age of 25 I am currently not physically growing; maybe wider, but not taller (hehe). But I am growing spiritually. I think I've hit a major growth spurt just recently... and it hurts. It's hurts so bad at times that I just want to run away. Where would I run, though, where there is no pain? I have to say that at this very moment I am OK. In twentie minutes from now I might feel a different way. But right now I know I will be OK. I will let this growth take place, hurt a little in the process and be OK in the end. I'm excited to see what's at the other side of this. I am ready for restoration of the pieces I've fallen into. 

Peace:)

I've figured it out...

The reason why there are so many immature adults... Because growing and changing hurts and takes a lot of effort. That vision I wrote about the other day; it's becoming reality.

Out with the old, In with the need!

To my amazement I have found that I have a slue of clothes and "things" that I never use! I took all my belongings today and put them in one large empty room... the sight is astonishing. I have a tall wall of clothes that stretch across the room and an endless pile of "things" behind it. I put some of my money to good use and bought some plastic storage bins. They're having a sale at Wal-Mart... $8.00 and I got 3 bins!! Whoot! Well, I must get back to the sorting of my belongings. This is yet another step in down-sizing for my upcoming move.. yay!

On another chapter of this journey I am on a search for a job. Today, all dressed up in a nice black dress, I hit the streets of downtown Monroe. No one is hiring. I figured. But, Family Video is! I have my application and will promptly turn it in tomorrow and pray for the job. This job will help pay my credit card debt and free me from the financial suffocation. I'll keep you posted!

Kristina Likes

I absolutely LOVE this commercial. I sometimes find myself singing it to myself. Check it out...

I have to admit...

Ugh... So for the first time on the web I am writing about my search for a second job. To be completely honest, this is not something I want to do, nor am I out in the backyard doing cartwheels for. I just know that my life is about to take a turn when I move to India to work with YWAM. I need to get many ducks in a row before I take this step. One of those ducks; the plump, large, stubborn duck, is my credit card debt. I have never wrote about this before, so I'm a bit nervous. I owe a small amount on a tiny piece of plastic. I will find myself a job to pay off this debt. My hopes are that I only have to work for a couple of months. While the base will be operating like normal, my friends will be doing what I want to be doing while I am working on the side. These next couple of months are gonna be hard, emotional, and a fight... but I will keep my eyes on the end prize!
I'll keep ya'll updated on the search. Pray for me. Pray that I can find the perfect job and get this debt off me. Peace!

A Vision of Fire, Rain and a New Beginning

I had this vision the other day-

I'm afraid. I'm standing in the middle of an intense ring of fire that is trying to eat me. My rosy cheeks feel burned and the smoke is making it hard to breathe. Front, back, right left... the flames are everywhere. I panic. Where's my escape? How will I ever survive? Then I remember to look up; up to Him. I do and my eyes lock intimately with His and I'm at peace. The flames are still lurking and hurling its heat onto my body, but I'm peaceful. I hear Him say, "Do not lose sight of me."

I continue to gaze upwards as the billowing smoke rises up around me. I do not lose my focus. Will this fire ever stop?

Then the rain comes. And it's not your, "Lets go jump, skip and hop in puddles- dance in the rain," type of rain. This rain is pounding. It's the type you run from. It's flash flood rain. But I stay. I stay and get pelted with the heavy droplets driving 100 mph into my face. Immediately I am soaked, cold and wondering why I didn't run when it started coming down. This is my chance. I can run, find somewhere else to escape this pain. But that would be hiding and isn't hiding such a lonely thing to do? I decide to stay because He said, "Do not lose sight of me." If I ran and hid I'd have to take my eyes off Him. I stare into Him more intensely through my distorted vision. The sound of the storm around me makes it hard to hear His voice. It's faint. I can't make out what's being said. But I stay in His gaze.

The rain finally subsides. I almost got lost in my self pity and missed the sizzling ring of drenched ashes around me. The fire- it's gone. The rain- it stopped. Him... where is He? He's not up! Where is He? I look, search, panic, and there... behind me, on that beautiful path, there He is. He's holding out a hand and waiting for me to walk with Him into my destiny... will I follow?

********



I can't begin to explain the groan in my spirit right now. Agh. How many of us, myself included, can't even make it past the rings of fire in our lives? Oh, how many times I have flipped a lid because of the fire... countless times. And then when I make it through the anxiety of the incoming flames and find His gaze, the rain comes and I flee. I run like a child runs from a stranger. Why? Why do I sprint for the first "shelter" that never ends up being a real shelter and I'm stuck in the rain anyways? I haven't seen this until now. I'm right now in a ring of fire. The rain is starting and I am faced with the option to stay, like He has instructed, or to run like I have my whole life. I already know what's at the end. It's my beautiful destiny.

Stay, Kristina! Stay! There's no more time for a half-way-there relationship with the One who has your destiny in His hands. The rain is just beginning and I'm here, staying in His gaze saying, "Bring it on, I'm ready to walk into my forever."

One more...

Let me add to that previous list...

15. People wearing literally WHATEVER to the store. Today on my way to the beach I stopped at Wal-Mart to get some things for my outing. I felt very awkward and naked in my shorts and tank top... I mean c'mon it's Wal-Mart, but I still felt trashy. Well later on today my sister and I were at Target and when exiting the store a girl, late teens/early twenties, walked out the store slurping her slushy with her booty hanging out. She was wearing what I assume was a bathing suit underneath a very short and skimpy pull over. There she was frolicking through the parking lot for the whole world to see her bum. That's not normal, but wearing a bathing suit AND a MODEST cover up to the store is completely acceptable.

I feel a good blog coming on soon... It's building up inside me... just wait.

Things are different

Since I've been home in Florida I have seem to forgotten how different Florida is from North Carolina... So I have made a list-

1. No one has a twang here. If you do have one you are considered foriegn!
2. They drive faster. "I'm not speeding I'm just going with the flow of traffic," my mom always says.
3. All the old people. Go to Publix before school gets out and it's like the convalescent home is on a field trip. Heck our street has more senior citizens than young people on it.
4. They dress different. Doesn't matter what time of year, you will always find people wearing floral print or bright color clothing and those ugly floppy hats with a fish hook in it.
5. Publix, Bealls, Burdines...
6. The asphalt is a different color. I think its because there is shell in it and then maybe the sun bleaches it?
7. There's no parking on the side of the road.. this is for the city I live in.
8. Students can skip a half day of school and go to the beach.
9. Hibiscus Plants.
10. Everything is still green and it's early March!
11. The houses are made of stucco or concrete.
12. Bathing suits are being sold.
13. There's no orange clay on the side of the roads... Only whitish gray dirt.
14. Its SO FLAT!
15. There's more of a diverse mix of Latinos other than Mexicans.

I Love the difference, but I miss my home in NC. Oh, Florida!

Stuck in Cement

Every time I come home to Deltona to visit home I get in this, "I don't want to do anything," mood. I feel like sitting on my parents couch is a cement trap. I need to get out and see my friends and family, but all I want to do is nothing. How boring. Today my dad and I are gonna go out to see the movie, Slumdog Millionaire. It's a great movie. We went to see it in India. I want my dad to see it so he can see a little part of India. Hopefully he won't get scared about me moving there. Tonight the family and I are going out to the beach to watch the shuttle take off. I'll take pictures and post them. Watching the shuttles and missiles is something I have loved ever since I was a kid. My dad would come and wake me up, if I was asleep, to watch them. It's really beautiful!

On a whole completely different note- My friend Amy is leaving this morning for Israel! I am so excited for her! Check out her blog... www.tribespahr.blogspot.com. She is on an incredible adventure.

Well, until the next post... Peace out!

This is my now

A friend of mine, Katie, just posted a blog about a Jordin Sparks song that spoke to her directly. That made me think of another Jordin Sparks song that has very recently summed up my life. It's called, "This is my now"

There was a time I packed my dreams away.
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.

There was a time when I was so afraid.
I thought I'd reached the end,
But baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I have to decide,
Was I gonna play it safe.
Or look somewhere deep in side,
Try to turn the tide,
And find the strength to take that step of faith.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah.
I've settled for less now I'm ready for more,
Ready for more.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I'm living in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.
This is my now.

I feel so complacent "resting" here at home. I'm ready for the next big thing! I'm ready to take the first step into my destiny. I want to keep the forward motion going strong.

India Slides

Newer Slideshow... enjoy!

Crash Landing

Numb. That is what I felt inside yesterday. I hugged and kissed my friends good-bye, got into a car with my parents and knocked out. The past six months haven't yet sunk in yet. I think I need to catch up on some sleep and then it will all hit me. I am full of so many emotions that my brain has no clue how to process them... I'm numb.

 

Just a thought

So I thought of this last night as my friend, Lauren, and I watched a tv show. There were two people; a man and woman. They were in love with each other. The man got down on one knee and with a twinkle in his eye, he proposed to the woman and the love-drunk couple hugged, kissed, and stared into each others eyes. Now pause that scene. If that were me... where would Jesus be in that situation? This is literally what I thought as I saw the couple envelope in their love. I understood that verse in Matthew where Jesus says that if possible it is good for a man not to marry. We are asked to live lives that are centered around Jesus. As a single it's tough at times, I can't imagine what it's like married. What does it mean to have Jesus at the center of your relationship? I am not saying by any means that I do not want to get married. I can't wait for the day that I meet someone who I will share the rest of my life with. It excites me! I just am curious about making Jesus the center of it. Any comments will be well received.

I can't and won't settle for mediocre

I went to church today. It was bland. Like stale bread in my mouth when I was expecting something warm and fluffy. The message was good, the pastor was good, the worship was OK, but it didn't hit the spot. I kept hearing in my head, my friend Amy say, "That what you experienced in India was normal! What you experience here is not!". 

I long for the radical-christian life. The one that is constantly reliant on the Holy Spirit. Where people are lined up after church to be prayed for to see healing in their lives. I no longer want to be wrapped up in my stuff. I came home this time and was in tears, literal tears, because of my personal wardrobe. I had two dressers, one closet and bins full of clothes. Way too much than I really need. I see a downsizing coming forth very soon. Agh, this outreach ruined me bad. I like it though. I like being radical... not mediocre.