I can't and won't settle for mediocre

I went to church today. It was bland. Like stale bread in my mouth when I was expecting something warm and fluffy. The message was good, the pastor was good, the worship was OK, but it didn't hit the spot. I kept hearing in my head, my friend Amy say, "That what you experienced in India was normal! What you experience here is not!". 

I long for the radical-christian life. The one that is constantly reliant on the Holy Spirit. Where people are lined up after church to be prayed for to see healing in their lives. I no longer want to be wrapped up in my stuff. I came home this time and was in tears, literal tears, because of my personal wardrobe. I had two dressers, one closet and bins full of clothes. Way too much than I really need. I see a downsizing coming forth very soon. Agh, this outreach ruined me bad. I like it though. I like being radical... not mediocre.