I had this vision the other day-
I'm afraid. I'm standing in the middle of an intense ring of fire that is trying to eat me. My rosy cheeks feel burned and the smoke is making it hard to breathe. Front, back, right left... the flames are everywhere. I panic. Where's my escape? How will I ever survive? Then I remember to look up; up to Him. I do and my eyes lock intimately with His and I'm at peace. The flames are still lurking and hurling its heat onto my body, but I'm peaceful. I hear Him say, "Do not lose sight of me."
I continue to gaze upwards as the billowing smoke rises up around me. I do not lose my focus. Will this fire ever stop?
Then the rain comes. And it's not your, "Lets go jump, skip and hop in puddles- dance in the rain," type of rain. This rain is pounding. It's the type you run from. It's flash flood rain. But I stay. I stay and get pelted with the heavy droplets driving 100 mph into my face. Immediately I am soaked, cold and wondering why I didn't run when it started coming down. This is my chance. I can run, find somewhere else to escape this pain. But that would be hiding and isn't hiding such a lonely thing to do? I decide to stay because He said, "Do not lose sight of me." If I ran and hid I'd have to take my eyes off Him. I stare into Him more intensely through my distorted vision. The sound of the storm around me makes it hard to hear His voice. It's faint. I can't make out what's being said. But I stay in His gaze.
The rain finally subsides. I almost got lost in my self pity and missed the sizzling ring of drenched ashes around me. The fire- it's gone. The rain- it stopped. Him... where is He? He's not up! Where is He? I look, search, panic, and there... behind me, on that beautiful path, there He is. He's holding out a hand and waiting for me to walk with Him into my destiny... will I follow?
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I can't begin to explain the groan in my spirit right now. Agh. How many of us, myself included, can't even make it past the rings of fire in our lives? Oh, how many times I have flipped a lid because of the fire... countless times. And then when I make it through the anxiety of the incoming flames and find His gaze, the rain comes and I flee. I run like a child runs from a stranger. Why? Why do I sprint for the first "shelter" that never ends up being a real shelter and I'm stuck in the rain anyways? I haven't seen this until now. I'm right now in a ring of fire. The rain is starting and I am faced with the option to stay, like He has instructed, or to run like I have my whole life. I already know what's at the end. It's my beautiful destiny.
Stay, Kristina! Stay! There's no more time for a half-way-there relationship with the One who has your destiny in His hands. The rain is just beginning and I'm here, staying in His gaze saying, "Bring it on, I'm ready to walk into my forever."
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